Male Church Leaders, We No Longer Believe You.

My dear brothers, I am speaking on behalf of many of us white, conservative, evangelical women who attend your churches. In 2016, we found ourselves disappointed and perplexed by you, but we waited to see if you would rise on our behalf. Your silence about our President's sexual exploitation of women was deafening. It hurt. We felt invisible, devalued, and dare I say it--duped.

But we waited, giving you the benefit of the doubt.

After all, you teach that you are the authority. You train us to receive the information you give us as truth. We are not to question. So, even in our unease, we continued to provide you with the benefit of the doubt.

I have earned two seminary degrees from your institutions and served as a pastor in one of your conservative evangelical megachurches for over a decade. I've spent the last ten years as a pastor-at-large to women across America. Part of my role's richness is that I hear all of the things that women don't feel safe to say in your churches.

I think it's time I speak on their behalf.

The day after the election in 2016, I woke to a flurry of texts and emails from your women. They reached out from across the country in shock and hoped to find a voice to help them make sense of what just happened. It wasn't about the party; it was about a person. They couldn't figure out why you went radio silent when Donald Trump said he could grab a woman's p***y and get away with it.

We, who compose 50-60% of your congregation, have purchased your books, attended your conferences, and enrolled in your bible studies. We listened, learned, and embraced your teachings on God's design for biblical manhood and womanhood. You said "he" was to lead and "she" to follow. He would provide for and protect us.

We believed what you sold.

You taught us God's design for women was to marry, have kids, and stay home to create a hospitable place for our family. You taught us that it was our responsibility to ensure that our husbands were sexually satisfied so that they would stay faithful to us. You said it was clear; it was right there in our sacred text. So we did what you said, even though at times it felt like we were selling our bodies to save our family. We showed up at the doors of your church whenever they were open. We bounced babies in the nursery, taught Sunday School, and brought food to the church events.

You promoted family values, proclaimed patriarchy protects, and declared character matters. Remember Bill Clinton? He lied and cheated. As conservative evangelicals, we were disgusted at the willingness of people to excuse his behavior. James Dobson represented us well when he said, "Character does matter. You can't run a family, let alone a country without it." Yet, we've watched you flip flop--this President's infidelity doesn't seem to matter.

With our anger sparked in 2016, we exploded in 2017 with the #MeToo movement. Courageously, women spoke out, and within 24 hours, 4.7 million people had posted the hashtag on Facebook. The magnitude of sins and abuse against women were on display, but many of us knew that as massive as it seemed, it was only a fraction of the truth. Why didn't the magnitude of it take your breath away?

Oh, how often we've heard you preach on sexual purity but never on the rape of Tamar or Bathsheba. You had the opportunity to take us to the Word and let the Gospel balm our souls with affirmation, repentance, and restoration. Instead, there was silence.

And if you spoke, what slid from your mouth was your fear. Rather than believe and acknowledge the breadth of violation we women have endured, your default was to defend the few men who "might" be falsely accused. You quickly wielded the law of men, innocent before proven guilty, forsaking the Spirit of the Lord. Then, with the #ChurchToo movement, we watched as the avalanche of stories consumed our faith communities. You circled the wagons around your brothers while demonizing and slandering the women who accused prominent and popular church leaders.

Somehow your idea of biblical manhood includes an unbridled sex drive along with protector and provider. You rallied behind Ted Haggard, Joe White, Bill Gothard, Doug Phillips, Bill Hybels, Paige Patterson, and Jerry Falwell Jr., and so many more. Let's admit it; there's something in us that thinks this comes with top-level leadership.

Except there's Jesus, our leader who doesn't fit this distorted model of biblical manhood.

We went to your conferences and read your books on Christ-like leadership. Authentic leadership was a real seller in our sphere. No wonder we are confused by your silence or even outward support of our President's leadership over the past four years. Does authentic mean bullying, fear, and intimidation? I don't remember reading about that leadership style in your books. However, in retrospect, you promoted as great models of leadership Mark Driscoll, Bill Hybels, Darrin Patrick, and CJ Mchaney. It turns out, bullying, fear, and intimidation are attributes of leaders you promote.

We see this as plainly as we see your fear and cowardice. And although we are sitting in your pews--we no longer believe.

Rev. Dr. Jackie Roese, Founder and President of The Marcella Project and Jackie Always Unplugged Podcast, Author of Lime Green: Reshaping Our View of Women in the Church, She Can Teach, I'm Enough, as well as over twenty bible studies for women.